Almost 8 years ago close to Christmas, I went to Animal Arc, a no kill shelter to look at a dog that
might be a good fit for adoption. We were there to meet an 8 yr old cock-a-poo named "Bear" that I found on Pet finder that week. He was very nervous when we met in but when we offered to take him on a walk by presenting the leash to him he perked up began humping my leg and licking the leash.
My sister in law Katie was along for the ride as well as Tyler, my husband. I decided into 5 minutes of that 7 minute walk that I wanted to take this dog home. I was not in love with the name "Bear"...I did not think that it suited him so we asked the people at the shelter if the name was to stick. They said we could change it if we called him another name that started with "B". I chose "Barkley" and he took to it quickly. I was unemployed at the time, accepted a severance package from Qwest so I was able to bond with "Barkley" all night and day. He slept in our bed each night and I took him on 2 walks/day. He did bark a lot though and in discovering that I regretted naming him Barkley but it stuck. I played with him and wrested with him, played tug of war. After 5 months of being unemployed, I went back to work and was more then thrilled to see my pups at home each night to greet me at the door. His tail would wag like crazy, it looked like a black furry little thumb, cropped short for his breed. I had no children and would not for 3 more years so Barkley was my baby.
After a year and a half we decided to adopt another dog to keep Barkley company during the day...This time we went to a shelter in Buffalo.
The called him Leo since they found him on Leonard St. He was skinny and you could see his hips. His hair was coarse and he was very quiet until Barkley taught him to use his voice...when he did it was loud and deep...we called him Barry White. He did not answer to the name Leo so as a joke and with about everything, I began to call him Cruzer as he never stopped moving. The day I did, it seemed we found the name he wanted and it was Cruzer ever since. Barkley was very bossy to Cruzer and put him in his place when ever he tried to do anything that he did not approve of. They chased each other around the back yard, raced each other to dinner plates when it came to meal time. Barkley was mean to him so I thought he did not like him but I was wrong to assume that and here is why. About 3 years ago Cruzer nipped Ian on the face. The mark was a thin scratch but from that day on Cruzer was very nervous around Ian and would whimper and nip towards Ian when ever he was around so we decided that we better find Cruzer a new home. It did not take long before Cruzer had a new place and from the day he left, Barkley's tail dropped and never came up again. It has been over 3 years since Cruzer has left us and I lamented the day that Barkley's tail began to droop. Sadly it would be the first of many things I would miss about him. Over the last year Barkley's energy has really declined. He would sleep most of the day but I would still take him on walks at night. He use to pull me along and bark at anyone that past us by. Now he would ignore others as I pulled him along the streets in our neighborhood. 4 years ago we found out that Barkley had Glaucoma. We had been taking him to see an Ophthalmologist who would check him out tell us his vision was fine prescribe him meds which I would give him every day and all was well. The last time we were at her office to check his vision was this past June 4 not 4 months ago. The Dr. said he saw just fine which I was revealed to hear and put in the back of my mind that Barkley was ever going to leave us. During this time I decided that I wanted to enjoy the time I was spending with Barkley. I knew that my father in law was taking his dogs to a park to throw the ball with them and have then run around. I decided that instead of dragging Barkley behind me, I would take him out in the fresh air like we use to when we went to the dog park and let him run. I would chase him around and he would chase me back. It was like he had new life when we went to the field. I was so excited to see him so happy and enjoying himself. I made the commitment then to go out 2 x a week to bring him here.
1 week ago Sunday night, I took him out with the kids chased him around and felt my heart leap in my chest when he would bound through the grass. The kids were tired out the sun was coming down so we left the park put the kids to bed and I snuggled with my pups.
2 days later, I noticed Barkley sniffing around the house head down and not looking up as much. 2 Days after that, I took him to my physical therapy appointment where there are other dogs to hang with but he would walk into corners and bark nervously because he could not find me. I was laying on a Pilates machine 2 feet off the floor so I let my hand fall so he could smell it. I also called to him to let him know I was there hoping to give him comfort for this new found confusion. The next day I really began to notice how was getting lost in our house now. He would get stuck in corners, walking carefully around, bumping into walls and not coming upstairs into his little bed in our room at night. I got a reminder call 1 week ago telling me to bring him in for his 6 month check up. I quickly made the appointment hoping that maybe I could get some insight as to what was happening with Pupps recent behavior. I dropped him off at 10 am and told them to call me ASAP so that I could pick him up right away since strange places always make pups nervous. At 1 pm I started to watch the clock, I hated leaving pups there I knew he was miserable. 2o'clock nothing but Reagan was napping now so I continued to wait for the call and played with Ian. Finally 4 o'clock I get the call from the vet. I grab the kids and race to pick him up. When I arrive, the Dr. asked me if there was anything new happening at home and I told her about Barkley running into walls and getting lost around the house. Then she told me that Barkley is now completely blind in 1 eye and 50% blind in the other. She talked about surgery options but I knew that with his age Tyler would not submit to that idea. She also said that his heart murmur was worse and that teeth cleaning was no longer an option for him. I took in in but could not quite process the news...Ian had Karate class in 20 minutes and I just wanted to get Barkley out of there. At class I put Pupps on his leash and walked around outside with Reagan. As he walked I saw that new confusion set back in. When we got home from Karate I got Barkley out of the car and set him down in the mud room. I went back into the garage to get Reagan and Ian got into the house to take off his shoes and uniform. When entered again, Ian exclaimed" HOLY SMOKES, Barkley just rolled down the stairs!" I looked down and saw Pupps at the bottom of the stairs. I ran down and scooped him up in my arms hoping he was not hurting. I got out a faux fur blanket and laid him on top of it. He couldn't get up his back legs were stiff and hard as he tried, he could not lift himself up. I helped prop him back up and he began to move around the house sniffing around the floor to find his way. After dinner I cleaned up the dishes and Ian and Reagan made their way down stairs play. I sat upstairs on the floor with Pupps, stroking his fur and crying. Ian and Reagan asked my to come downstairs so I brought pups and a blanket down so I could hold him while we played. After bed time I tried to get him to take a walk with me but his legs were stiff and he could barley move. He went potty and I took him back up put him on a blanket and sobbed as I folded laundry. I kept thinking about how this all seemed to happen so quickly as thoughts of Barkley running in the grass continued to flash in my mind. I remembered when we got him Tyler asked me...."You know, he is 8 years old. We might only have him for another 4 or 5 years. " I don't care, I love him...I want to take him." I remember as we were signing his adoption papers we asked about his past. With concern in their voices they recalled that they did not have room for him when he was brought in, but the guy who brought him was anxious to get rid of him. They told us that they could tell that there had been abuse so they took him right away. I also remember I ended up being in a play with a vet who coincidentally volunteered at the same shelter we found Barkley. I asked her if she remembered "Bear" a black Cock-a poo. She paused and said ah yes, I remember him, Bear. You adopted him?" Aww, when we first got him we thought he was un-adoptable. Even taking his picture for pet finder was so hard...he was so scared and wuold not look up at the camera." I am so glad you found each other."
Looking back I knew that this day would come, as I fell more and more in love with Barkley, I began to regret the possibility that one day he would be gone. It has been almost 8 years and now I am starting to watch Barkley slip away from me. Barkley has been my first dog and every moment that I have given with him I am hoping was a better and more rewarding end to here journey here. He has been so loyal to me, sweet, fun and great with the kids as they have grown. When he is completely gone my heart that has loved, lept, sank will ache deeply. I can't imagine my life with out him and I will miss him dearly.
