Ode to Cruzer

I am grieving the loss of my dog Cruzer. I gave him up for adoption Saturday cause he was not getting along with Ian. Cruzer was very nervous around him and would often whimper when Ian was around. We have had Cruzer in our home for 3 yrs. He was adopted at a no-kill shelter in September 2005. The day I met him he jumped right up and kissed me on the lips. Cruzer was a stray and very skinny that September day. You could see his ribs and his hip bones clearly. His hair was very coarse and dirty but his personality shined through all of this and we decided to take him home to live with us. Right away he ran around the yard like a jack rabbit with bright eyes and a gaping smile. Tyler played fetch with him for a while in the yard and took to Cruzer immediately. I really thought that Cruzer would be a companion for Tyler and Barkley would be my baby. As time went on Cruzer and I began to bond more and more. Soon he was by my side waiting for me right by the door when I took a shower or went the bathroom. He would lie silently on the floor each time and wait for me to emerge and then where ever I went, he would make the rounds with me. When we met Cruzer at the shelter Barkley was the least impressed of all of us. Barkley snarled at Cruzer at their first meet, when we brought Cruzer home Barkley seemed to say, "What in the heck are you doing here and when, pray tell are your going to leave. For three years Cruzer endured many reprimands from Barkley asserting his dominance and Cruzer seemed to take all the snaps, barking and chasing instride. He gladly let Barkley know what he respected his Alpha-ness and overall kept his distance when Barkley got haughty. Barkley was also very poorly socialized if at all when we got him. But in time Cruzer who tried for months, finally got Barkley to play with him on a daily basis. It was a miracle by my measure as Barkley only ever barked at dogs but Cruzer the wonder dog was able to bring that out in him. Our son Ian was born on Feb 14th 2008. I thought from the begining Cruzer, our easy going submissive pooch would get along great with Ian and Barkley our jealous dominat dog would be the one to have problems. But as Ian grew and became more mobile, the opposite proved true. All Cruzers anxiety around Ian came to a climax when one day Ian crawled up the stairs to Cruzers bowl, and began playing in his food. Cruzer remained calm and I took Ian and put him downstairs near his daddy so the dogs could continue to eat. Ian then climed the stairs again and this time took Cruzers bowl and tipped it over spilling all the food on the floor. This time, Cruzer got mad and nipped Ian at the bridge of his nose. It was no deeper then a scratch but Tyler was sold at that instant that Cruzers days were numbered in our household. I tearfully pleaded that we could make it work and Tyler gave me a 30 day time frame. Well, in those 30 days Cruzer got more and more nervous around Ian. Though he did not ever bite Ian again, he would whimper and bark at him. Finally, Tyler placed an add in Craigslist and started the process of finding Cruzer a new home. On Saturday March 7th. A women came over with her boyfriend to meet Cruzer and see if they got along. Right away, the took to him and wanted to take him home. I got the leash put in on Cruzer and the walked out the door down the steps and into her car. Most of Saturday I was hoping that Cruzer was adjusting well to Sara and John and his new home. I worried that night if he would feel lonely and sad with out us. Sunday morning Sara was great about emailing me to let me know that he was doing well and that she adored him even after he pooped in Pet Smart. But on Sunday night, I became overcome with emotion. Since then, I can't stop crying thinking about him and his sweet happy personality. I Remember him always by my side, following me everywhere around the house like a shadow, close like an appendage. It is hard not having him near me sitting next to me..waiting by the door for me...so loyal, so present. Now that space beside me that kept Cruzer's company is vacant. I really thought that the day Cruzer left would be cathartic for Barkley who from day one would emphasize his dominance over Cruzer. I thought that he would be content to go back to being our one and only. The two of them use to follow me around the house together Barkley being older only half as much as Cruzer. I thought that at least I will have Barkley after Cruzer leaves. But Barkley now spends 95% of the day on the couch or at the window. When I let him outside, he lingers there waiting or looking for something that should be there but isn't anymore. Loosing Cruzer for right now has not been like loosing one dog but two, Like Barkley surrendered those traits that Cruzer brought out in him when Cruzer took his final exit. In time, I really hope that Barkley comes around, I hope the heart ache that I feel catches wind of a spark of joy and laughter instead of tears when I remember Cruzer Doo.

Surley Temple

This weekend was very busy but very exciting. At the end of last month Tyler and I took a temple class to get ready for a possible visit to the temple. Tyler was not sure when we would officially go but I thought right away seemed like a great idea. Anyway, I wanted this even to be special so I booked a room at a golf course near my house and sent out invitations. Then I bought Ian a white tux, Tyler a white suit and a temple dress for me. As I got into the plans they got more and more elaborate as I decided hey, we are getting sealed in the temple, this is like a wedding right? So I bought a wedding dress which was elegant and simple got a photographer and put together a menu for the guests which included chocolate dipped strawberries, croissant sandwiches, fruit ka-bobs veggie tray punch and a beautiful cake. Alicia, my sister was a great help in this endeavor in that she flew into Minneapolis in a huge snow storm and stayed up each night with me working on details of projects that I started. The night after the endowment, She stayed up with me until 2 am getting together the fruit and then I stayed up that night making the veggie trays and fresh flower vases for the tables.

Everything seemed ready to go in the morning when I woke up. Alicia did my hair, my dress fit perfect. We got to the temple in plenty of time. Alicia and I prepped in the Brides room and relaxed when I was all dressed and ready to go. Our Sealing started at 11am and I was told that the ceremony takes about 20 minutes on average and 30 minutes at the most. My photographer was waiting in the waiting room and would be ready at 20 after 11 to take pictures. It was 11:07 when I started to get nervous, at 11:15 they got me from the Brides room and sat me down next to Tyler. Finally at 20 after the ceremony began. The person presiding was talking all over the place like a unprepared freshman on the first day of speech class. He had some nice things to say don't get me wrong but we took the long way to get there. At 11:45 the room was getting uncomfortable. People began laughing silently, smirking and generally shifting around in their chairs wondering when this was going to end. When they brought Ian in it was cute to see him in his tux for the first time. That moment lasted about 30 seconds which was the moment that he recognized me from all the people in the room. He started to frown and then cry and finally he screamed to be in my arms. Everyone was aching to put this all to an end and I think Ian cued the presider that he better wrap this up or it was going to get ugly in a hurry. At about 12pm, we finally got out of there. I booked it to the brides room to collect my stuff and ran to the waiting room to meet the photographer. We had time for like 10 minutes of pics and then we had to dash off to meet Tyler's family who Tyler called to gather everything that we prepared the night before to the reception site. Believe me, with all the details, it was no small feat. Anyway, we get to the sight and I am freaking out cuz I did not get to use decoration that I spent hrs prepping. The stress was building and building I then I took a breath and decided to accept things as they were and enjoy myself. I needed to remember that though things were not quite as I envisioned them, things were still beautiful. I had made my life goal to got to the temple and I was sealed to my wonderful husband and beautiful son Ian.

Alicia said as we were driving to the reception site, "After all the work you did to put this together, I think I want to elope."

It's a Walk Out!

Men walk out on their women...women walk out on their men and Kramer walked out on H&H bagels but what about babies walking out on their momma's during their one year photo shoot no less. Well imagine it in your head cause it happened to me and it may even happen to you. It was Feb 9th and I decided that I better look into getting pictures to commemorate this milestone in his life. I called Target and book a spot for Ian on Feb 12th at 1pm. That morning I get together some cute outfits and toys, stuff them in a bag and at 12:30, I pack the car and the kid and drive to the portrait studio. The photographer sets up the studio with a white background and sets a cute little stool in the center. I take out this piano that I packed and set it up for him to play with, then I set Ian near the stool. As soon as I walk away, Ian walks away too and not just out of the scene but out of the studio. I run and grab him and set him up again. This time he sits by the piano for 30 seconds which luckily is enough time to snap 4 shots. After those are accomplished he walks out again. Hailey Hawes, who I also invite to the shoot takes a turn and is the sweetest thing ever. She sits right on the stool looks at the camera and smiles perfect. She sits there for like 4 minutes and would not have moved if we did not try and get some more pics of her and Ian together. So I set Ian up next to Hailey and yet again, he walks away and then out the door again. We grab this cute couch and set that up for them to sit on. Ian get up again and walks right out. Luckily during the few and I do mean few seconds that Ian was stable during an hour of trying to shoot we manage to get 8 I repeat 8 pictures total of Ian. 3 of them with Hailey in them. I am telling you though if that couch had a seat belt, we could have been in business....seriously.

Party Pooper

When Ian turned 1 I knew that I did not want to have a party at our house because it is cold in February and I seriously did not think we had the space to plan something fun in the dead of winter. Besides that, Ian's birthday was on Valentine’s Day so why not go somewhere fun. I called The Little Gym and inquired about doing a 1st yr birthday party with them. The idea sounded awesome, the babies get together and they play with bubbles and a parachute and ride around in a little cart, I was sold...until I heard the price, 250.00. So then I started to try and brain storm, well where can we go for about half the cost that would have fun stuff for babies?
I asked around for ideas for places to have Ian's Party. Friend after friend continued try and convince me that our house was a great place for the party. I was getting so discouraged until I finally talked to my friend Jessica who suggested that we have the party at the Maple Grove indoor pool. I checked out their web site and it looked great. There was a 0 to 2' pool for the babies and a waterslide and a rope swing for adults. There were even Party rooms that you could rent to host the event. OK so far this sounded perfect but I was freaking out that it was February 2nd and his birthday was less than 2 weeks away. I called immediately that Monday morning and found out that there was a room we could use. Next, I print the invites that I bought a week and a half ago but of course could do nothing with until we had a place picked out. And finally, I could start shopping for decor I thought of a rubber ducky theme since it was a swimming party. I bought a ducky piñata, rubber ducky cup cake toppers, and rubber ducky beach balls for each of the kids, I decorated the room with hearts and rubber ducks. It all came together swimmingly up to the day. We had a nice turn out 12 kids and 15 adults. At the party we dined on the traditional birthday dish of cupcakes and Ice Crème. Everyone was anticipating Ian Eating his first birthday cake but being the hippy mom that I am, I fed him gluten free brownies but Grandma Shaw managed to slide a few spoonfuls of Vanilla Ice Crème into his mouth. Anyway, Ian got some awesome gifts including some adorable clothes, some great toys ( in particular, a Sesame Street remote control) and a hilarious T-shirt from Audrey and Hailey that had Ian's mug on it that read, I'm coming unglued. After opening gifts, I decide that since we have been chilling in the room for over an hour that it was time to get this party stared and hit the pool. I start packing up the room and Tyler rounds the kids together to pay for their pool admission. It takes me about 35-40 minutes to get the room packed up and change and get down to the pool. It is so warm and nice in the pool area, such a contrast to the weather outside. We strip off the towels and join the rest of the group to splash and swim. 10 minutes into the fun the life guards blows their whistles. Everyone evacuates the pool cuz; you guessed it...some kid pooped in the pool. It was going to be 45 minutes until the kiddie pool opens again and half our guest decides to leave. For ten minutes Ian was having the time of his life until a rouge log appeared amongst the waves. Happy Valentine’s Day Ian and Happy Birthday too...better luck next year.

Santa Stare Down

Most kids cry when they see Santa for the first time, I know I did. I recall my first encounter to this day. I was 3 yrs old at a Christmas party for my dads work. I vividly remember being almost intimidated at the idea of rubbing elbows with the legendary guy in red. I remember thinking, "Not only do I get a candy cane, but he is going to listen to me tell him all about how I have been so good this year I walked up to Santa and...yadda yadda yadda...I cried buckets in his lap held out my hands and begged my mom to take me away from this weirdo.

Well this year was Ian's first Christmas and we were attending out Ward Christmas party where Santa was set up in the Relief Society room to meet the kiddies for a half hr before dinner started. My friend Jen gave me the full report of how her 12 month daughter Hailey, screamed and cried when placed on the Strangers lap. As we took the walk down the hallway which led to the "North Pole" we joked about how Ian would scream and get just as hysterical as Hailey. When we entered the room we took our place behind a father who was coaxing his 17yr old daughter to hop aboard old Santa's lap but she refused, so we were up. Tyler whipped out the Camera to capture the tears and I did the honors of handing off Ian to St. Nick. To our surprise, Ian just stared at Santa not for like a 30 seconds but for 5 whole minutes he wouldn't take his eyes off him. Even Santa seemed a little surprised when the tears didn't flow. While all this was happening our camera freaking broke. Luckily Jen had hers ready so she snapped some shots as we laughed our heads off.

Curiosity may have beet the Santa Blues this year but next year, I might bet Ian could have a whole different reaction.

The Devil Wears Robeez

So Ian is almost 10 and a half months and has been crawling since he was 6 months. People with kids know how crazy it becomes when you little dude starts hitting the floor on all fours right? The next step is the pulling themselves up phaze which invites opening cupboards and drawers and continuing to pull everything out and onto the floor. My dogs love this phaze because it means food for their bellies. Well Ian has been pulling this stunt for a good 3 months now and finally after much coaxing from his daddio, he has started to take his first steps. All I hear from everyone is "If you think that you couldn't get anything done before, forget about it...your kid now owns you."

Looking forward to trouble on 2 legs.

Lord have mercy and stuff.